But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
