a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
