Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
