hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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