whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
