Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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