Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
