How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
