Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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