just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
