So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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