Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
