His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
