just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
