I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
