Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
