but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
