can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
