so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
