1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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