You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
