Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
