So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
