Sry I called you an 8
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
