u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
