Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
