the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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