just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
