If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
