Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
