That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
