dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
