Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
