so let's talk penis.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
