I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
