so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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