Where is the hickey?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
