It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
