are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
