She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
