careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
