Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
