I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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