90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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