She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
