I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
