wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
