he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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