just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The adults are the big ones right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
