Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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